[The better way to read this post is here on fetlife.com.]

The Dungeon Pole is my favorite way to play! The possibilities are endless. On this page, I will list some of the options, along with my notes/experience with them.

Ties for impact play.

https://fetlife.com/users/2818844/pictures/133463522 https://fetlife.com/users/2818844/pictures/130010524

Seated & standing ties

Nice, low-intensity ties, and can be enhanced with other forms of sensation-play.

https://fetlife.com/users/2818844/pictures/132731976 https://fetlife.com/users/2818844/pictures/133418703 https://fetlife.com/users/2818844/pictures/132512464

https://fetlife.com/users/2818844/pictures/124406229 https://fetlife.com/users/2818844/pictures/123754290 https://fetlife.com/users/2818844/pictures/130094155

Predicament bondage.

https://fetlife.com/users/2818844/pictures/133304754 https://fetlife.com/users/2818844/pictures/133134818 https://fetlife.com/users/2818844/pictures/135884322

“Classic” Hashira suspension.

In “Classic” Hashira, the receiver (a.k.a. the “bottom”) is upright and facing away from the pole. They are first tied to the pole, and then their legs are taken away one-at-a-time. In my opinion, classic Hashira is one of the best ways to get started in Shibari suspension. These suspensions can be low-intensity, stable, and fast to let down. Highly recommended!

https://fetlife.com/users/2818844/pictures/136469201 https://fetlife.com/users/2818844/pictures/135044304 https://fetlife.com/users/2818844/pictures/125257658

“Modern” Hashira

In “Modern” Hashira, the receiver can be in any position: facing towards the pole, wrapped around the pole, inverted, etc.

https://fetlife.com/users/2818844/pictures/135884404 https://fetlife.com/users/2818844/pictures/143919974 https://fetlife.com/users/2818844/pictures/141448648

Another great thing about Dungeon Poles is that, unlike traditional suspensions where the receiver swings freely in space, on the Dungeon Pole, they are stable against a solid object, opening up endless possibilities for titillation and sensation-play during the tie.

Never forget the FUNDAMENTALS!

When discovering a new BDSM play style, it can be easy to forget the fundamentals of good kink. Here are three concepts to always remember: safewords, informed consent, and aftercare.

Safewords always apply.

I use the stoplight system. “Green” means things are good, and can be asked as a question by the top, which the receiver can respond to by repeating back, “green,” as a reassurance to continue. “Yellow” mean, “slow down.” “Red” means, “pause any action and confer.” “Mayday” or “cut me out” means, “get me out ASAP (cutting rope if helpful).” These are always available and nobody should feel uncomfortable using them. Even if the rigger needs to cut rope, the receiver should know that it isn’t a big deal. A human being is infinitely more important than any piece of rope. If a gag is in use, it is generally still possible to safeword vocally, which should be done. This can be augmented by hand tapping or leg shaking/stomping to draw attention. When communicating about a problem, it is important to be as clear and specific as possible. If a partner is not responding to your safeword, say it louder.

Because of the safeword system, normal objections (“no,” “stop,” “ouch,” crying, etc.) do not have their usual meaning and may be ignored. Safewording applies not only to physical acts, but also to softer aspects of play such as the giving of instructions and erotic or degrading talk.

I want you to feel comfortable safewording! I want you to have a great experience! I care about your well-being and would never want to actually violate you. Whatever I’m doing, I’m doing it because I think my partner wants it. If you don’t want it (or just don’t want it in that particular way or at that particular time), then I will happily stop that thing and move on to something else, or stop entirely. Just let me know. You have nothing to prove. It is possible that you, as a receiver, have dealt with tops who react to safewording like it is a big, ego-damaging deal. I assure you that I am not like that. Because the top cannot feel what you are feeling, only you can judge when the activity should reduce in intensity or stop. Keep in mind that rope takes approximately 5 minutes to untie by giving the untie signal before your endurance is exhausted.

I only want to play with partners who enthusiastically desire what I give them. During a scene, I read the situation and draw upon my knowledge, attempting to deliver a positive, memorable experience, with the safeword system as the indispensable safety net.

Remember that you do not owe play to anyone, even if you agreed to it at some point in the past. If you feel uncomfortable, don’t play, and do not hesitate to use assertive speech when explaining your wishes and boundaries. If your consent profile changes, either during play or over time, communicate that fact to your partner (safewording, if the change happens during play). Sometimes, would-be play partners don’t want the same thing and should not play.

Kink involves risks both physical and emotional. You should only participate in types of play where you have informed yourself about the risks you are assuming. This video playlist is informative about rope issues–especially this video about nerve damage, self monitoring, and fainting. I am not a doctor, or any kind of medical expert.

As part of informed consent, receivers must explain to their top any limitations they have that may affect the session. It is helpful to think of such limitations in two categories: (1) known, discrete issues that require targeted workarounds (e.g., an injured joint with a limited range of motion), and (2) unpredictable issues that require the receiver to make a decision about their risk tolerance (e.g., risk of fainting, or feeling claustrophobic during bondage). If you have any history relevant to an unpredictable issue, it is essential that you let me know before we play. Even if you don’t have such a history, you may want us to limit our play, in case an unpredictable issue presents itself for the first time. If so, let me know. That would be perfectly valid, and I would never want to pressure you into something outside your accepted risk profile.

If you have concerns about toy/rope hygiene, you should raise them. Personally, I launder my nylon ropes once they are used as crotch or mouth ropes, and I hygienically cover vibrators against skin contact. Otherwise, I consider toys/ropes ready for reuse.

The recent trend is to fear the Takata Kote, over concern the upper-arm pressure could damage nerves. As a result, I will not tie a TK without specific informed consent that the receiver has informed themselves on the topic, and has enough experience with their body in rope to make an informed decision whether to participate in the tie.

For decades, the Takata Kote has been foundational to Shibari, for a reason. It is an amazing tie. I believe that the decision to include it among one’s play options is valid, so long as it happens with informed consent.

Aftercare.

Aftercare is not always needed, but the failure to consider aftercare is a significant cause of bad experiences in kink. Mentally coming down from intense play can require time and a nurturing environment. Before playing, receivers should explain what aftercare they like/need, and tops should communicate about their ability to meet those needs. This can depend on the play environment, as well as on the nature of their relationship. If the aftercare set up is not right, that can be a reason to lower the play intensity, or even not play at all.

Thanks for reading, and keep it kinky!

- Mr_Arrow

https://fetlife.com/users/14508598/pictures/141607406